拒絕別人不用說出”No”!用這些句子瀟灑拒絕同事和老闆的無理要求

「拒絕別人」用中文就已經夠難,
用英文又應該怎麼樣說,
才能夠擋住路邊推銷員、同事,甚至老闆的無理要求呢?
分析出對方的說服策略,
再用這些句子,
根本不用明確說NO,就可以拒絕得超瀟灑。

拒絕 英文

該怎麼拒絕同事和老闆,卻不傷感情?

《時代》雜誌的文章《學習如何說「不」》(Learn How to Say ‘No’)分析為什麼大部份的人對於說「不」這件事都不是執行的很成功。基本的原理很簡單:人類在長久的進化過程中,學會了合作與融入社會的重要,而「拒絕」與「被拒絕」都可能威脅到人際的和諧。尤其亞洲文化更傾向把拒絕跟冒犯畫上等號,拿捏言語的分寸在大家心中也就變得更加重要。

職場往往是大家最常被提出要求的時候,無論個人的想法基於什麼立場,如果提出要求者 (asker) 提出的不合理或者過分的要求,被要求者 (askee) 可以分析一下對方的言語。讓我們來學習以下 4 種常見的說服手法,如果下一次有人把想好的台詞搬出來,想要借用言語達到目的,你就會有完全的準備,了解他的把戲了,即使要用英文回話也不怕!

1. Reciprocity:互惠

人與人之間有要求「公平對待」的默契,只有白目的人才會單方面地接受別人的付出與心意。可是如果對方給你「X」,轉過來要求比「X」的價值超越許多的「Y」,你可能就沒有配合他的義務。如果馬上把「X」退還可能太突然了,所以你也需要運用言語,讓對方知道你會拿與「X」同樣價值的東西回饋他,可是「Y」的問題他還是要自己想辦法了。

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Asker:

You have to try this chocolate croissant!  They are usually sold out at around 4 pm, and I saved the last one just for you. By the way, I got to leave a few hours early today to pick up my uncle at the airport. Please cover for me. Make sure you lock up, and don’t say anything to the boss.
你一定要嚐嚐看這個巧克力可頌!通常下午4點就會賣完了,我特別把最後一個留給你。啊,順便講一下,今天我需要早幾個小時離開,去機場接我舅舅,拜託罩我一下。記得鎖門,而且什麼都不要跟老闆講。

Askee:

Thank you for the croissant. Let me at least give you the money for it. I will get it for you next time. But I have to leave on time today because I have dinner plans. The boss will be back soon, and she will probably notice that you disappear in the middle of the afternoon.
謝謝你的可頌,至少讓我把錢給你,下次我來買吧。可是我今天因為晚餐有約需要準時離開。老闆很快就會回來,她可能會發現你在下午突然消失哦!

2. Making two asks:提出兩個要求

這種兩段式的心機比較複雜。要求者已經盤算過了,會一開口就提出不合理的「X」。如果你竟然同意,他就賺到了。但如果你拒絕,他也沒有損失,反而會抓住機會,要求跟「X」比較起來比較沒那麼嚴重的「Y」。他也知道你第一次拒絕他時會心有愧疚,所以第二個比較合理的要求便成為補償他的機會,強烈的增加他的勝算!

Asker:

I know you told me that you have plans over the weekend… If you cannot help me move, would you be willing to send the package at the post office for me?
我知道你周末已經有事了…… 那如果你不能幫我搬家,你是否願意到郵局幫我寄個包裹?

Askee:

As I told you, I have to get ready for my seminar that starts at 8 am tomorrow. The post office is going to be extremely crowded this afternoon, and it won’t be possible for me to get in line for hours to fulfill your personal errand.
我跟你講過,我得為了明早8點的研討會做準備。而且今天下午郵局會很多人,我真的不可能排隊幾個小時來完成你的個人差事。

3. 錨定效應:Anchoring effect

“Anchor” 是「錨」,而 “anchoring effect” 就是把思緒比喻為在海上漂泊的船、必須把錨丟下海來讓它不再隨波逐流;也就表示,腦海中一旦有一個參考基準,人就會比較容易接受範圍內的數據或資訊。推銷者利用話術,很愛強調「X」的通用與普遍,讓你感覺如果拒絕「X」,最好還是接受類似的「Y」,要不然就會漂到不正常的範圍了。

Asker:

Most people who care about the environment make monthly donations of NT$200 or more, but you can decide how much you want to donate.
大多數關心環境的人每個月至少捐款台幣200元,但你還是可以自己決定你要捐多少。

Askee:

Thank you for the wonderful opportunity that allows me to contribute. But there are so many organizations fighting to protect the environment. I prefer to do more in-depth research online first, and then decide where my donations should go.
謝謝你給我這麼棒的機會讓我可以做出一點貢獻,可是有那麼多的組織為了環保在奮鬥,我想要在網上做更深入的研究,再決定我應該要捐款給哪個組織。

4. Establishing similarity between asker and askee:
建立提問者與被問者之間的相似性

人性驅使我們期望找到對方與自己的共同點。如果有求於你的人與你有類似的外表、背景、特質或想法,也許你的同理心就會讓你想幫助一位與你類似的地球公民。可是相對來講,建立相似性也是簡單的小心機!當一個人贊同你、或者大聲的指出他與你類似的地方,最好先分析一下他的出發點,先問自己:”Why would this person say this?” ,然後下一步也會很容易的了解 this person wants something from me!

Asker:

Oh mine, I love your new dress! I have one just like it. I also like your idea regarding redesigning the flowchart of the annual conference’s seating arrangement. It will save every one so much time. I always had similar thoughts. Guess great minds do think alike!  Oh, just one more thing, I have to meet a client for lunch, so I need your help with the slides. Please make sure you check the figures, proofread the writing, and reorganize the format!
天啊,我好喜歡妳的新洋裝,我也有一件很像的!我也很愛妳那個重新設計年度會議座位流程的提議,可以省大家超多時間,我一直有類似的想法,大概英雄所見略同!哦,還有一件事,我中午要趕去與客戶吃午飯,我需要妳幫我做這個簡報,要記得檢查數據、校對文字與重設格式!

Askee:

I’d love to help. But I promised the boss that I will complete the conference’s ad today. You and your team are all great researchers. I believe if you put your heads together, you will create the best presentation slides ever!
我很樂意幫忙,但我答應了老闆今天完成年度會議的廣告。妳與妳的團隊都是很傑出的研究員,我相信如果你們一起合作,就能創造出最好的簡報!

如何向幾乎所有事情說「不」How To Say “No!” to Almost Anything
幽默的影片解釋如何運用意志力來保持良好的行為,打敗壞習慣!

Screen Shot 2015-08-26 at 5.59.59 PM

了解如何不傷和氣的拒絕同事了,那麼對於上級或者老闆的無理要求,應該怎麼應付呢?這邊可以參考一下拒絕老闆的 4 個例句,把你可能遭遇的情境套用進去試試看吧:

1. So sorry boss! I clocked out five minutes ago, and my cab is waiting. I got to go meet my friend. Tonight is the last night that she is visiting, and I am already late. I’ll have the presentation slides ready tomorrow morning. Is that okay?
老闆,歹勢餒,我五分鐘前已經打卡下班了,計程車在等我,因為我已經跟朋友有約,今晚是她待在附近的最後一個晚上,而我已經遲到了。簡報明天早上一定會好,可以嗎?

2. I sincerely appreciate you let me take time off when I had a family emergency. But I cannot take on new clients until next month, because I want to ensure the quality of my services to my current clients.
我真的很感謝你在我家裡有急事時准假 。但我要到下個月才能接受新的客戶,因為我也得保持我對於現在手上客戶的服務品質。

3. I would love to join you for a drink, and unwind myself. But I have to attend a seminar most nights this week, then run home after that, so the babysitter can go home herself. I regret that I am unable to join you, but I hope you will have a wonderful time.
我很想要跟您去喝一杯,放鬆一下。但我這星期幾乎每晚都要參加一個研討會,然後趕快回家讓保姆也可以回家。很遺憾不能夠加入你們,但希望你們玩得愉快!

4. Thank you so much for offering me a position at the new branch. I know most employees would kill for the opportunity. But I just moved to a place that’s close to my parents, and the new branch is far from where I live now. It will be extremely difficult for me to get to work on time.
非常感謝您想讓我轉到新的分公司!我知道大多數的員工都迫不及待想要這種機會。但我最近剛搬到離我爸媽很近的新家,新的分行會離我很遠,準時上班會非常困難。

不過,更 高 明 的 技 巧 是照著 James 老師的這種說話方式!怎麼樣的說法能夠讓老闆重新考慮他的指令,又不會覺得受到冒犯呢?從影片的1:50開始看吧:

Screen Shot 2015-08-26 at 5.04.38 PM

迫不及待想馬上開始練習嗎?

快打開 VoiceTube App 練英文!

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文/王傳瑄
圖/Unsplash CC Licensed
參考資料/TIME
作者簡介/VoiceTube看影片學英語

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